Preparations
by Tiquismiquis
Summary: Lon'qu realizes too late a way he might hurt Lissa.


_Author's Note: For a Tumblr prompt requesting pre-wedding night panic on Lon'qu's part._

* * *

As far as Lissa was concerned, Lon'qu was cured.

He still gave wary looks to Maribelle and could not touch Robin unless his life depended on it, but with his fiancée, he was finally comfortable. She could touch him or kiss him or even sneak up behind him to play a prank, and nothing about her fazed him any longer.

_Just in time for tomorrow_, Lissa thought happily as his lips pressed down her neck. Their regular goodnight kiss had gone a little farther than usual, that night, with him following her into her tent and allowing his mouth to wander. Maybe he wanted to see how far he could push himself, to make sure everything was in order for their wedding night. Lissa, all too happy to allow this, was so giddily dizzy that she thought she might fall without his arms around her.

"You're fine, right?" she murmured as his tongue glided over her collarbone. He moved to her ear and nipped at it.

"More than fine."

"Good."

She smiled and moved his hand to her breast; he kissed her lips again and pulled her closer. She pushed her tongue into his mouth. He took down her hair. She pulled open the front of his shirt so she could feel his chest. His hand slid down her side, over her hip, under her skirt, traced up her thigh. When his fingertips finally brushed between her legs, her knees finally gave. He followed her down to her bedroll.

Lissa tilted her head back as he unlaced her bodice, but a more serious thought began to nag at her. "Lon'qu?"

A grunt was his only response as he went back to kissing her neck.

"Lon'qu, I think you should know…tomorrow…"

He finally paused and looked up at her—that ever-familiar look of _Lissa, you talk too much._ But it had to be said.

"Maribelle warned me that it might hurt, a little. Or at least be uncomfortable. Just so you're prepared."

His fingers began to tremble. He removed them.

"Prepared?"

"Well, yeah. Why'd you stop?"

"It might hurt?"

"Lon'qu, hold on—"

"Hurt _how?_"

"I'm not sure. I think it depends on a lot. I mean, I might bleed just a tiny bit, or—"

He scrambled away. "You what?"

"Did you really not know any of this?" She supposed that made sense, but it was such an odd thought. Emm had explained so much of this to her ages ago. "Look, I might not, too! Maribelle didn't! It's like any time you do something for the first time and are a little sore later, right?"

"I-I thought it would make you feel good! I'd never agree to something like this, otherwise!"

"It will!" she insisted, holding out her hands. His shaking had traveled up his arms and through his chest and into his voice. He was breathing too fast. It was a little concerning to watch. "But _just in case_ it's uncomfortable, at _first,_ I didn't want you to freak out! It'll be fine!"

"But what if it's not?" His hands were moving now, raking through his hair and then clenching hard.

"Calm down," she whispered despite the sinking feeling that it was too late.

"I-I'll be too afraid to—no matter what, you'll be disappointed, I'll have ruined everything—" His breathing was too harsh to talk through. Now quite worried, Lissa put a hand on his shoulder, but he wrenched away with a cry through grit teeth, like he would have months ago.

"How can I comfort you if I'm the problem?" she demanded miserably. He was the Feroxi Champion, he'd lived through a thousand trials and escaped death twice as many times, and now he was curled into a ball in her tent, breathing like a man panicked or about to sob or both, trying to tear out his hair. It made all of her ache so badly she thought she could be sick.

"Lon'qu, I'm sorry," she attempted to soothe with her voice. "It's all right. We don't have to do anything at all. It's fine. It's just fine."

She kept repeating that until he gasped out, "B-But you wanted—"

"So did you, right? That doesn't mean anything has to happen before we're both ready for it. I'm not afraid of our first time, and definitely not of you. I know things will be okay. But if you need more time, then we'll wait. Get used to being married, a little bit, first."

His shuddering hadn't stopped, but his breathing had slowed a little. Gingerly, she reached for his shoulder again. He tensed but she kept her hand there until he relaxed once more. Then she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"You don't need to panic about me," she said. "I'm always just fine. Don't pull your hair out; hold onto me instead."

It took him another few minutes, but he managed to finally bring his hands down and cling to her like she was already clinging to him.

"I-I can't catch my breath."

"Try to match mine. See? Nice and slow?"

That took another few minutes. She rocked him her arms until he seemed completely calm again. He buried his face in her neck, doubtlessly mortified.

"Tell no one of this," came his muffled order.

_Only as blackmail_, she wanted to tease, but now wasn't the time. "Of course not."

They held each other a while longer, just recovering. She stroked his hair and his fingers traced up and down her back.

"I'm still sorry," she finally whispered. "I didn't mean to just spring that on you."

"I understand your motives. It would have been worse to keep silent until tomorrow night."

"But I ruined this night. It was going so well."

"The fault is mine."

She stuck her tongue out the corner of her mouth to think and was struck by an impish idea that made her blush.

"Hey, Lon'qu…if you're that worried…"

He looked up at her warily.

"I mean…maybe if we…practiced…" Now her face was burning. "Maybe if, um…"

She grabbed his hand and put it high on her thigh, where it had been when he broke away. His lips spread in a slow smile that was almost a smirk.

"Can you not speak? That is unlike you, Lissa."

"Shut up! Do you want to or not?"

"Of course, but…" He paused as he trailed his fingers to the inside of her leg. "Would this not hurt, as well?"

"No," she insisted. "Definitely not."

"Well, then…" He kissed her again, long and slow. Before she knew it, she was the one who had lost control of her breathing.


End file.
